self reflections~

a few things i noticed bout myself.... and hope it is for the better and gets better than that!

i'm actually more tolerant! for those who knows me, could testify this. i'm a difficult person to be/work with. in school. at work. a matter of fact, anywhere. today while going thru the crisis at work, a colleague had to come and ask me questions. if it was a life threatening and needed an reply pronto, i would understand. but the questions posed to me was what other ppl could have easily answered. when another colleague was like 'she's super busy right now. could i help you?' or some sort like that (it was in chinese!!!) the questionerer refuses the offerers help as it was felt that the answer lies with me and ONLY me. seriously. for me, i think i'm like 2 sides of a coin. really nice or really bad. no middle. at normal previous circumstances, no one would really want to come near me when i'm stressed. sleepy. tired. hungry. you could've seen a beware red tape around me. as i would have bite the head off, chew it and spit it out. and maybe a small kick after that for good measure. yea. anger management. hahaha.... so back to that case, i actually replied civilly without raising my voice. leaning towards the middle of the coin. cool! :)

i'm attempting to reduce b*tching bout ppl. or more actually a person or 2. yea, can't help it coz they are dodgy. and the things they do. its.... story telling material. but i believe in karma. and what i learn is that after i've done the deed, karma kicks me back in the butt. hard. so now you know why i suffer on fridays. hahaha... its from my own doing. so i'm trying really hard to be nice. with that, basically and hopefully make me a better person!